I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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