So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
