Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
