What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
