I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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