i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
