Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
