just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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