a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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