too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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