i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
