I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
