you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
