This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
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I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
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Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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