so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
