Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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