This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I've blown a few things in my day
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
