i just had sex bonerless
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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