He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
