They should really pass out barf bags in church
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
COCAINE IS GR8
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
