I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
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I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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