i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
