Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
