First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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