just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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