Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
