do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
