You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
