Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
