More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
