Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
