Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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