I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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