i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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