oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
