They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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