Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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