i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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