I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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