i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
