not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
