Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize