She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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