And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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