I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
