Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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