Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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