I smell stomach acid.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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