it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Randomize
