Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
