im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
