CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
