coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
