That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
