Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
