He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I believe in your delicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize