You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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