I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
