my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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