My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I think my vagina is haunted
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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