Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
