Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize