Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
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Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
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Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize