new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
