They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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