So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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