mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize